Tuesday 9 November 2010

Eulogies: To Read Or Not To Read?

No matter how much grief affects us, smiling and laughter always seems to be present. One of the most memorable funerals I've recorded, was that of a dear friend (an uncle figure in my life) with whom I'd visit every couple of months.
All the years I'd known him I had never seen him without a smile, despite suffering loss in his immediate family three times.

A funeral is supposed to reflect the very nature of a person, the term: 'fitting tribute' should be just that. The last goodbye can have all their attributes. We go to great lengths to find the right clothes to dress them in, the right music to play, and the right venue for the wake.
The priest/reverend welcomes everyone and usually starts by saying, "It's lovely to see so many of you here". Then he/she goes on to say, "I didn't know......", or " I only knew..... a short while". Immediately I feel frustration and think, Why are you up there talking about them if you didn't know them?
I've been to a large number of funerals in my life and only a handful of people have spoken about their family member or friend. I've looked around the congregation and seen plenty of people who knew the deceased and yet, it's left to the priest/reverend.
Having written and read eulogies at some of the funerals I decided on including a eulogy reading and writing service. If a reading comes from someone the family and mourners know, it makes the eulogy personal. We need to regain ownership of eulogies.

The family and friends of my dear friend came from Jamaica and other countries, to say goodbye. They did it in the exact style he would have wanted, and each time his nickname was mentioned 'Stingray', a loud acknowledgment was heard with a raised hand and clicking of fingers. A perfect end for an astonishing man.

I dedicate this blog to Johnny Small aka John The Ras.
Rest easy with Jah.