Wednesday 31 July 2013

A Different Grief

Silver - 19 July 2013  ©Priscilla Etienne




It's been a really topsy turvy week emotionally.

For many years I have worked with bereaved families and coped with personal bereavement. Many people I have lost over the years have not only made an impact on my life but left big voids along the way. The biggest gap I will never be able to fill is the loss of my mother. I couldn't have prepared myself for the unplanned loss of my cat Silver. He would have been 18 years old this September and was an extremely well behaved, well trained, Maine Coon. He was older than my son, so to me he was most definitely my boy. I had wanted to put him to sleep 6 months ago (when this picture was taken) because he had got to a point of approaching deafness and even showing signs of senility but he most certainly did not look his age. The decision to put him to sleep was forced upon me when he was attacked by a fox, he suffered but with strength and dignity. I was with him all through his pain and as he slipped into unconsciousness I had to leave him as I couldn't bear to see his breathing getting slower. I left the vets room in floods of tears. The reaction of the people in the waiting area with their animals was of genuine sadness for me.

I took a leaflet from the vet as I was determined to have him cremated and home with me. The pet crematorium is Sunnyfields, they are based in Braintree Essex. When I called to make the arrangements and heard the reassuring, calm voice of John I felt instantly supported. I even smiled to myself, as I heard the same manner I use when I work with bereaved families. If only they knew what I do; I thought. The pricing system was explained to me quickly and clearly, then a deposit was taken over the phone with the balance payable when Silver was being brought home. The total cost was £95.00. 
When he was brought home, John carried him in a cat basket lined with a deep green velvet material. The tribute folder containing beautiful poems from Silver to me, then from my son to him, then from Silver to both of us, rested in the basket too. The whole thing was really touching and tastefully done without being over the top. 


My daily tweets about this grieving experience can be seen @Funeography #DifferentGrief
Thank you John and Paula and team at Sunnyfields, you did a fantastic job.
The website for Sunnyfields is: www.sunnyfieldspetcrematorium.com

Naturally I dedicate this blog to our beloved Silver. Missing you terribly but still have you with us always. 

See you at the next posting.