Saturday 31 March 2018

The Waiting Room

Priscilla Etienne Funeography 

                                                             
We're here, going about our daily business, dealing with every day things as well as difficult things.
The next time we are aware, we are somewhere else. Somewhere we don't recognise. Maybe with people we don't know. There's questions lots of questions.
Where are we?
How did we get here? How long have we been here?
How are we going to get back?  
    Upon losing my friend and experiencing grief for the first time, many years ago I imagined 'The waiting room'. A place where you go when you die. The in-between so to speak. There are other people there waiting to be collected. It is always a member of the family that comes to collect you. regardless of how you got there, they are always pleased to see you because they have missed you. If your arrival was abrupt or unexpected they might even tell you off straight after and say; You're not supposed to be here".
I try to picture every detail of the waiting room. There would be landscape pictures on the walls to encourage calm thoughts, to slow the speed of the questions.
It wouldn't be particularly big but there would always be plenty of room. There would be no unhealthy sounds indicating some of the illnesses that people waiting had and no physical disabilities, for when you arrive in the waiting room you have left all illnesses in your physical body.

I always wished that I could sit with those in the waiting room. Maybe find out what last wishes were intended, and if they had seen and spent time with everyone they had wanted to.

Imagine the different ages of everyone in the waiting room and the different achievements in life.
There are always newcomers to the waiting room. In the last few weeks three people I know have arrived.

Dolly Barry
Captain Gerry Coveney
Scott Punnet

These three incredible people are so diverse, they have all lived full and vibrant lives. They have all been big achievers who have made a very strong and unforgettable impact on the lives of those they have left behind. If I could say one last thing to each of them in the waiting room, this is what I would say;
Dolly Barry: You always had your door open for a welcoming cup of tea or a glass of wine. I think you were a really good listener with a soothing calm voice. You were a bit like a counsellor. You had a way of making people feel at ease.

Captain Gerry Coveney: Sir, when I was with G Coy 4RGJ the few conversations we had were valuable to me. I respected you for various things, your firm but calm manner, your kindness, but most of all because you worked your way through the ranks to the position you held with great pride.
I saw the way you held your daughter-in-law and my old friend Lisa, in the highest regard and even though I would see you occasionally outside of army life I never dropped your title sir. On to a place even more glorious, to match your achievements in life.

Scott Punnett: If you have to wait here too long you'll start getting restless, wanting to see all the fabulous friends that went before you. I bet you've been boasting to the other people here, about the tributes that have come flooding in for you. Do me one favour Scott, give Mervyn Webber a kiss and hug from me, and an even bigger one from Lorrayn, she misses him every day. If you can still generate the warmth and love we all had for him thirty years later, you would have definitely made your mark. We'll all miss you Scott, now go and liven the place up some more.