Wednesday 31 July 2019

Victims Of Crime


                                                           
  ©Lady Priscilla Etienne
Kiyan Prince 18 May 2006


How many more untimely deaths can we take?


I need to point out that the term 'victims of crime' shelters beneath a very big umbrella. Primarily the victims family suffer, and then the perpetrator's family, friends, partners, husbands and wives. It causes a ripple affect for all extended family members on both sides. Most of the younger victims of crime we hear about are oftentimes in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or they were trying to smooth a group argument, protect someone else and were even in fear of their own life. The latter has at times resulted in the victims losing their life by their own instrument.

There are remarkable people who are working tirelessly to re-educate young people about the choices they make when it comes to human life. The simple action of thinking first, retreating instead of advancing, and the benefits of doing this are being discussed in many schools, colleges and youth clubs around the country. Where are these rich and valuable amounts of advice and guidance going?
Are they falling on deaf ears? Because there's still a lot of teenage genocide happening. We will end up with a pretty big generation gap.
      When the Grenfell fire happened, the community came together as one group, bravely and publicly displayed their anguish, and began their fight for justice for their friends and family. Their voices were heard because they all worked together to deliver the same opinions and beliefs. The people that lived at Grenfell all suffered the same needless tragedy, so they all have a common goal of a satisfactory and fair outcome for all involved.

In 2010 I had the honour of working with the parents of ten families who lost their children to gun and knife crime and gang violence.They kindly let me and my colleagues into their homes, places of work, and into their lives.  Seven out of the ten sets of parents we worked with started their own foundations in their taken children's' memories. I began to think then, as I do more so now {in the wake of Grenfell} that these foundations could have their voices heard much louder if they were joined together as one large foundation.
    The murder of Stephen Lawrence in 1993 was a shocking turning point. There were not so many murders like his happening then. The work Stephens mother began with building his foundation led to some great things and of course her tireless fight for justice for her son, led to her O.B.E. It was a hard fight for her but his was the first foundation so there was no competing with anyone else for recognition or publicity. A primary foundation like his would be a perfect platform for all the other parents to become part of. A large foundation for all the victims with an appropriate name. I really believe it's time.

I dedicate this blog to some young people who are greatly missed every day by family and friends.

Stephen Lawrence, Kiyan Prince, Sabina Rizvi, Charlotte Polius, Terry Booker, Tommy Harley, Robert Levy
Anton Hyman, Daniel Ross, Damilola Taylor, Ben Kinsella, Michael Simon Wright, Bobby Litambola, Adam Regis, Stephen Lewis,
Danny O'Shea.




Monday 17 June 2019

Death And Sausage Rolls


©Lady Priscilla Etienne


It is the morning of the funeral that I'm attending instead of covering. I always think of having a cup of tea first, getting dressed, then have breakfast. Trouble is, I never seem to be able to manage the breakfast. My stomach churns and I feel nervous and anxious. It seems most of us do, so we tend not to eat.
         When we suffer the shock and grief of a bereavement, everything we swallow after that has no taste and has a distinct texture of cardboard. So we have the long time leading up to the funeral barely eating, then virtually nothing on the day. Food deprivation plays a big part in feeling unwell and physically unstable after a bereavement. Meanwhile for those of us that drink alcohol the odd drink or three can help a little.

Gradually over the years, I have seen this change. I have attended a funeral where it was so beautiful and lavish (exactly like a wedding), the food of course was amazing and a lot of effort went into the presentation of the food. I remember thinking how wonderful it was to see that all of the mourners were considered. It can be a long process, from funeral service to the wake, and it's usually at this point that appetites can begin to return.

There is a Starbucks bar at a funeral home in South Carolina. The funeral staff are all starbucks trained, a really useful way of mixing sustenance with death. I'm all for practicality and ease during grieving. I was in a cab recently going to a hospital appointment, and just around the corner, we passed a funeral directors albeit out of sight from the front entrance, the driver said that she found it distasteful and said that many of clients found it upsetting.
I do not. I find it enterprising to have it so nearby. A refreshing crossover.


See you at the next posting.