Thursday 27th October. I arrived at the family home of Matty Fitter. It was 5.30pm and there were already some guests in the kitchen, some family, some friends. We were all gathering together to remember Matty on what would have been his 31st birthday, He died a month before his 30th birthday last year from cancer. I had a lovely chat with one of his sister's and she described her coping strategies in dealing with his untimely death. On the wall above the fireplace is a large canvas picture of Matty, smiling beautifully and dressed in a tuxedo, on the shelf just below sits his ashes. Matty was a lifelong West Ham fan, like so many of us who come from the area.
As more and more friends began to arrive the atmosphere picked up and became really lively, laughter some tears and plenty of shared memories filled the room and the marquee; that was set up in the garden.
Matty was upbeat and really positive. I hadn't seen him for some time but as soon as I heard he was unwell I wanted to see him. He didn't know what my profession was but when he saw my portfolio he thought it was a really good idea. Coming from someone whose future was so uncertain, it meant a lot.
Matty's mum wanted to repeat the balloon release that happened at his funeral. Once everyone's' balloon was filled with helium we all attached a message. His mum asked everyone to put their phone number on the back and see if anyone calls. I was one of the people that did that.
We all went outside the front gate once everyone was ready, I said a few words and we all released the balloons.
Among those words, I spoke about how much Matty's courage and positivity shone through. Even though I have worked with many families in a similar position, Matty's illness and death affected me gravely. When I got the news he had died I was sitting in a friends car outside my house. It was raining so we were just chatting. I put the phone down and cried really hard. Only a month had passed since I'd spent time with him.
To echo the words I spoke that night before the balloon release. Matty was remarkable. He touched me in a way that no one else has. I know there were many thoughts in his mind about his illness and the very possible outcome. It's a lot of weight for anyone's shoulders, let alone someone so young with many more things to achieve and experience.
He loved his family very much and it showed. He was equally loved by them and the many friends who paid their respects at this funeral and at this joyous memorial birthday celebration.
He will always live in his families hearts, and he will always have the utmost respect and admiration from me.
R.I.P. Matty Fitter...... A superstar in life.... A shining star in death.
