Burley Road Is Broken

 On the 11th September after 4.15pm, I was standing outside the chapel at City of London Cemetery paying my respects to an old neighbour and friend Danny Heron. The final song was 'Show Me Love' by Robin S. I looked around at the sea of people who all came to say goodbye. We were all showing him love, showing him pain, showing him tears, showing him sadness. For a moment I saw his piercing blue eyes and warm smile, I even heard him say "All these for me, leave off". Anyone looking at the amount of people there would have wondered what he did to touch so many. 

Danny shared laughter as a young boy with me, my brother and other friends in the area. He enjoyed Shipman Youth Club Tuesday night disco with us all alongside his twin brother Jason. Back then, Madness was one of his favourite bands among others with artists on the Two Tone label. The two of them would go out in their navy blue crombies, Fred Perry shirts with jeans and jodhpur boots. They both took their meticulous 'put together' look very seriously. As Danny got older he became more gentle and quieter, he became the steady one among some of his wild and sometimes reckless friends but then, his unforgettable, loud laugh would jolt you back to realising that he really was a big presence.

Having seen Danny a few years ago at the funeral of one of his best friends, I ran into him and his wife Tina last year. they came into my favourite Indian restaurant (theirs too) in Essex to collect their take-away. It was not ready so they sat down at my table. It was a bit like a speed date, trying to get as much catching up done before their food was ready. It was so good to see him again as it had been a few years before that. Speaking to him that night I was pleasantly reminded of what a gentle soul he was, a real prince among men. I will miss him, like so many of his friends will. His entire family feel his loss so deeply, a loss they will have to find a way to manage. I keep hearing the song 'The Prince' by Madness, it always reminds me of him and like the song ends; Bring Back The, Who Is The, We Want The Prince.....                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

God bless you Dan and may the arms of your wonderful parents enfold you.

I dedicate this blog to Peter and Phoebe Heron. 

Thank You For The Orange Juice

 

©Lady Priscilla Etienne Funeography®

©Lady Priscilla Etienne Funeography®

Mrs Graham was just that to me; occasionally I would use her name Esther, but always after I used her official title. Esther and Sid lived in their home at Kerry Close Custom House, for many years. They had ten children, Dennis, Sid, Vera, Yvonne, Corrine, Janine, Lorna, Wayne, Kieran, and Harry. Their son Harry was a very close friend of mine. Being part of the 'Kerry Close' community was a great thing, it brought with it a sense of freedom and endless time, just nearby was another little peace of community heaven, Murray Square. All over Custom House there were little pockets of the same. In the summer we'd be hot and thirsty running around, but we never had an endless or regular amount of pocket money. More families were bigger then; mine included, and there wasn't always enough to go around, running into a sweetshop for refreshments didn't happen every day. When the heat got too much Esther would come to our rescue. She would make orange juice for us and put them all on a tray in plastic cups and we would rush to get them, like marathon runners at a water stop. 

Esther and her husband Sid, lived through a time when mixed couples were just not tolerated at all. You had to be made of very strong stuff to withstand harsh abuse both verbally and sometimes physically. Esther and Sid were among the early beacons of hope for other mixed couples. She was clearly placed on a pedestal by Sid, and he affectionately called her 'Duchess', she was everything to him. Custom House then, was not necessarily considered the most popular place to set up home for people of colour, although the neighbouring area Canning Town was growing into one of the largest black communities in London, with over 100 families living in the area; other places deemed as popular for the Caribbean community were; Forest Gate, Brixton, Notting Hill, Clapton, and Stoke-Newington. 

On Friday 11 September, Esther's funeral took place. As I approached the close I could see the horses and carriage outside Esther's family home. There were family members as well as some friends milling around the entire close. It felt like the whole close was one family at that moment. I paid my respects to some family members, then watched Esther leave home for the last time. I went on to the cemetery to wait for the cortege there. I was met at the cemetery with more family members. Even though I know the Graham family is very large; I was reminded of the scale when I saw them all together. After around fifteen minutes the cortege arrived and the first cars door opened. Esthers' son Harry came out of the car and straight into my arms to hug me and thank me for coming. Although he hasn't physically seen me for many years it still felt like before, when as kids we used to throw arms over each others shoulders so we could chat while walking along the road.                                                                       

Restrictions resulting from the recent pandemic meant that only a certain number of people were allowed in the chapel; but I think that would have been the case anyway since the family is very large. I stayed to see Esther being carried into the chapel to a fitting song, 'You're The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me', by Gladys Knight. Unfortunately I had to leave soon after they went in for the service, because I had to be at the second funeral of the day. It's the knowing that Esther is no longer here at all that feels strange. Like her dear husband Sid before her, there was a nice nostalgic feeling and security knowing that she was still here, now they are both gone that particular chapter in my life has in effect come to an end. God bless you Esther, and may you have eternal peace and light with your beloved Sid. 

Thank you for the orange juice and being part of the fabric, that is my life. 

I dedicate this blog To the wonderful Sidney Graham.

 

  

 

Farewell Ma Lynch, Its Been Good To Know You

©Priscilla Etienne Funeography®

On Wednesday 7th May, Sharon Lynch was laid to rest. Her daughter on the right would sometimes call her dad pa. A nice old and familiar term for a father. Sharon was definitely ma, a mother figure for so many.

I have known Sharon for a number of years, since the age of 13-14 years old. She watched us make some horrendous fashion mistakes, and our excitement about a night out when we were old enough to do it. If we asked her opinion about whether something looked good, or if it suited us, she would tell us straight that she didn’t like it and to try something else. Rather than force her opinion as to what the reasons were, she would just leave us with the time to re-think it.
I can honestly say, I never heard her raise her voice to her children,  {two girls and a boy} she just had a particular look on her face and would use fewer words, enough to let you know she’d be talking about it later.
She was never in a rush and we always felt relaxed around her. Sharon always had time to listen to all of us. We sometimes would eat in the pie mash shop that her sister Rita had,and as other customers started to come in she would move us to a corner so that we wasn't in the way, we'd only have to leave if it got too busy. It was one of the few places that we didn't get thrown out of.

The coronavirus prevented me from being at her funeral, or standing alongside so many who social distanced to bid her farewell on her final journey, as I have a high risk family member.

When I look back on my life I can remember a few parents like Sharon who were instrumental to my experiences and what I learned about family values and the importance of looking out for each other.
Rest in peace Sharon, it's been good to know you.