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| ©Lady Priscilla Etienne Funeography® |
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| ©Lady Priscilla Etienne Funeography® |
Mrs Graham was just that to me; occasionally I would use her name Esther, but always after I used her official title. Esther and Sid lived in their home at Kerry Close Custom House, for many years. They had ten children, Dennis, Sid, Vera, Yvonne, Corrine, Janine, Lorna, Wayne, Kieran, and Harry. Their son Harry was a very close friend of mine. Being part of the 'Kerry Close' community was a great thing, it brought with it a sense of freedom and endless time, just nearby was another little peace of community heaven, Murray Square. All over Custom House there were little pockets of the same. In the summer we'd be hot and thirsty running around, but we never had an endless or regular amount of pocket money. More families were bigger then; mine included, and there wasn't always enough to go around, running into a sweetshop for refreshments didn't happen every day. When the heat got too much Esther would come to our rescue. She would make orange juice for us and put them all on a tray in plastic cups and we would rush to get them, like marathon runners at a water stop.
Esther and her husband Sid, lived through a time when mixed couples were just not tolerated at all. You had to be made of very strong stuff to withstand harsh abuse both verbally and sometimes physically. Esther and Sid were among the early beacons of hope for other mixed couples. She was clearly placed on a pedestal by Sid, and he affectionately called her 'Duchess', she was everything to him. Custom House then, was not necessarily considered the most popular place to set up home for people of colour, although the neighbouring area Canning Town was growing into one of the largest black communities in London, with over 100 families living in the area; other places deemed as popular for the Caribbean community were; Forest Gate, Brixton, Notting Hill, Clapton, and Stoke-Newington.
On Friday 11 September, Esther's funeral took place. As I approached the close I could see the horses and carriage outside Esther's family home. There were family members as well as some friends milling around the entire close. It felt like the whole close was one family at that moment. I paid my respects to some family members, then watched Esther leave home for the last time. I went on to the cemetery to wait for the cortege there. I was met at the cemetery with more family members. Even though I know the Graham family is very large; I was reminded of the scale when I saw them all together. After around fifteen minutes the cortege arrived and the first cars door opened. Esthers' son Harry came out of the car and straight into my arms to hug me and thank me for coming. Although he hasn't physically seen me for many years it still felt like before, when as kids we used to throw arms over each others shoulders so we could chat while walking along the road.
Restrictions resulting from the recent pandemic meant that only a certain number of people were allowed in the chapel; but I think that would have been the case anyway since the family is very large. I stayed to see Esther being carried into the chapel to a fitting song, 'You're The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me', by Gladys Knight. Unfortunately I had to leave soon after they went in for the service, because I had to be at the second funeral of the day. It's the knowing that Esther is no longer here at all that feels strange. Like her dear husband Sid before her, there was a nice nostalgic feeling and security knowing that she was still here, now they are both gone that particular chapter in my life has in effect come to an end. God bless you Esther, and may you have eternal peace and light with your beloved Sid.
Thank you for the orange juice and being part of the fabric, that is my life.
I dedicate this blog To the wonderful Sidney Graham.
