Christmas Emotions

©Priscilla Etienne Funeography®

The crying we experience in everyday life is very different to crying because of grief. I think one form can be from frustration, anger, and even physical pain. But the tears from grief is etched so much deeper. As I've become older I have become more emotional. I seem to cry really easily. Things hurt me more.

Christmas time is always the most emotional. I want to cry more, express my sadness more, and sometimes I can get very  short with people if they upset me. I seem to take on a more direct attitude. In a nutshell, if I'm put out, i'll let you know loud and clear and as quickly as the words can leave my mouth.

I do like this time of year, but at the same time, it makes me angry, I think it's because I want to try and put right all the wrongs that have been done to me, ask others why they feel how they feel and expect a direct and prompt answer, get the apologies owed to me, and give my apologies. Trouble is.... I want to do it all before midnight on New Year's Eve. I feel quite exhausted fitting all that in. New Year's Eve tends to bring personal politics to the fore.

     Working with bereaved families can sometimes feel like this. The complicated family politics appear albeit stronger, but similar feelings come to the surface.

Whatever harsh words are spoken, every body feels the sadness, and everybody cries the same tears on the funeral day.

I drove along the route of my mums funeral on Christmas Day on the way to the cemetery The song 'Let Her Go' by passenger was playing on the radio and I suddenly began to cry. I was back at the funeral day. I never got to thank three people in particular that stuck in, and will always be in my mind for what they did that day; brandishing their shovels to bury our mum. Mark Reed, and my two cousins Roger and Eric Francois. Thank you, thank you, thank you all. From the bottom of my heart. 

        For everyone who is feeling their loss harder this time of year. I hope your fondest and dearest memories allow a smile in between the tears at midnight. Happy New Year.

See you at the next posting.

I dedicate this blog to the exceptionally strong and fiercely missed Iona Magloire.