Linda Left Us Song.

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Photography by Pete Saunders©️

Linda Lewis, I say her name and I break into an immediate smile, for that's the only reaction that matched her personality. Linda was many things to a lot of people but first and foremost she was a much-loved daughter, a hugely cherished sister, a well-respected aunt, and a valuable friend. She was warmth, laughter, and determination. Music was a big part of what she loved and who she was, but she was so much more than just music. She was a force of nature and would have left a lasting impression whatever her chosen career.

One of the most entertaining memories I have of Linda (there were so many) was a takeover of the bedroom in her brother's flat at a party. She was perched on the bed chatting to a friend among the coats. Linda decided anyone one who entered the room to sit on the bed and chat, should be subjected to questioning. It was most certainly Linda’s take on The Big Breakfast Bed, she called it The Bed of Truth. If you sat on it you had to answer any question that Linda asked, I saw people enter the doorway and then leave abruptly when she mentioned the purpose of The Bed of Truth. 

Linda was an East End girl through and through who respected and protected her own community fiercely. She knew everyone in the local area, just as many saw her grow from a young girl to a successful musical artist. The industry took the girl out of Canning Town but you could never take Canning Town out of the girl. 

Your vibrancy and beautiful soul will be forever missed, Linda. 

September 1950 / May 2023

I dedicate this blog to an equally talented local musician whom I had the utmost love and respect for, Tony Hill. 

Michelle - Their Wonderful Whistler

Photo Courtesy- Victoria Thompson

The awful but real truth began to break, on Friday afternoon 5 August 2002. A vibrant, enthusiastic, and funny; daughter, sister, mother, and friend had died. There was no warning, and no time to prepare. Her very close group of friends somehow managed to find a way through their grief and shock and begin to support each other. What they all clearly do best. 

      Michelle had a very upbeat attitude and liked to live her life on a happy and upbeat note. Who knew someone so happy and positive would leave so much sorrow and yearning behind them. I have known Michelle since she was at secondary school with a close friend and previous neighbour Vicky Thompson. Although I saw Michelle less frequently over the years, I was always that much more uplifted when we would say goodbye. I was so overwhelmed when I found myself having to say goodbye for a final time. 

Something else, which has resonated with me, is the strength of the relationship Michelle had with ‘the girls’ her close group of friends. The way they really do pull together is not uncommon, but the enthusiasm and genuine love they have for each other is. I have never in my life seen a closer friendship group than this. They have something so precious and have taken the time to nurture it. In celebration and sadness, their strong true friendship shines through. Sisterhood is the better word for it. 

Michelle's only daughter has a group of surrogate mothers to help with the very unpredictable road that is life. They are there to catch her if she falls, and celebrate her successes. She is lucky and blessed to have them all, just as they were lucky and blessed to have Michelle. When we spoke about her, we would say our Michelle, but it is plain for all to see, she was their Michelle and will always be.

I dedicate this blog to all the vibrant, brave, working-class Londoners who showed true courage and love for each other in World Wars 1-2.    WE WILL REMEMBER THEM 

There's Only One Tilly Griffiths!! {Moore}

©Priscilla Etienne Funeography®

A sad day for us all at Custom House, 30th January 2022, the day our friend Tilly died. We all wanted to share the health battle Tilly went through. The whole community was rooting for her, supporting her children, her sisters, and her parents in the only way that we know. Some of the shops along Prince Regents Lane asked after her, some asking if she needed anything, but all wanting her to continue fighting. That's how she was, always ready to fight for what she believed in, for injustice anywhere she saw it. My last visit to her home about 3 months before her death was a tonic. This family did not need a pandemic to be reminded of how important and precious they are to each other. 

Fast forward to around 3 months later, 4 March 2022. I saw the bottom of Colman Road E16 awash with Tilly's family, friends, and neighbours, braving the cold to see her leave her home for the last time. As I walked among the crowds, greeting many of them I was looking for the best positions to start shooting. 'When the feathers are in sight'. That's what I asked one of the mourners to look out for as I continued to shoot the perfect sight of her grandchildren playing among the sadness, slightly excited that they were dressed up for their nans special day. I ran back to position to see the beautiful white horses in their majestic purple plumes. The colour purple adorned all those with whom Tilly was close and had a special bond. 

All the familiar faces from the area over the last 4 decades of my life are all struggling with the thought of letting Tilly go. The moment had come, and the first group of female pallbearers began getting into position as the coffin stands were placed in front of them. The only thing missing was a red carpet, reflecting her superstar personality as she was carried out by some of her nearest and dearest. Some of the local men from Tollgate Road were drinking cans of beer, an unexpected sight at a funeral but their way of a final toast for her. I don't believe Tilly would have had it any other way, she would not have expected them to change their 'way' on her account. 'Take us as you find us, or don't take us at all.' A no-nonsense attitude from a no-nonsense woman. 

There are big holes in the many places Tilly left behind, Why? because she was a lady with a big personality and her funeral reflected the big love we all had for her. 

I dedicate this blog to all the strong women from Custom House who left us before her and to the strong women still there.

Burley Road Is Broken

 On the 11th September after 4.15pm, I was standing outside the chapel at City of London Cemetery paying my respects to an old neighbour and friend Danny Heron. The final song was 'Show Me Love' by Robin S. I looked around at the sea of people who all came to say goodbye. We were all showing him love, showing him pain, showing him tears, showing him sadness. For a moment I saw his piercing blue eyes and warm smile, I even heard him say "All these for me, leave off". Anyone looking at the amount of people there would have wondered what he did to touch so many. 

Danny shared laughter as a young boy with me, my brother and other friends in the area. He enjoyed Shipman Youth Club Tuesday night disco with us all alongside his twin brother Jason. Back then, Madness was one of his favourite bands among others with artists on the Two Tone label. The two of them would go out in their navy blue crombies, Fred Perry shirts with jeans and jodhpur boots. They both took their meticulous 'put together' look very seriously. As Danny got older he became more gentle and quieter, he became the steady one among some of his wild and sometimes reckless friends but then, his unforgettable, loud laugh would jolt you back to realising that he really was a big presence.

Having seen Danny a few years ago at the funeral of one of his best friends, I ran into him and his wife Tina last year. they came into my favourite Indian restaurant (theirs too) in Essex to collect their take-away. It was not ready so they sat down at my table. It was a bit like a speed date, trying to get as much catching up done before their food was ready. It was so good to see him again as it had been a few years before that. Speaking to him that night I was pleasantly reminded of what a gentle soul he was, a real prince among men. I will miss him, like so many of his friends will. His entire family feel his loss so deeply, a loss they will have to find a way to manage. I keep hearing the song 'The Prince' by Madness, it always reminds me of him and like the song ends; Bring Back The, Who Is The, We Want The Prince.....                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

God bless you Dan and may the arms of your wonderful parents enfold you.

I dedicate this blog to Peter and Phoebe Heron. 

Thank You For The Orange Juice

 

©Lady Priscilla Etienne Funeography®

©Lady Priscilla Etienne Funeography®

Mrs Graham was just that to me; occasionally I would use her name Esther, but always after I used her official title. Esther and Sid lived in their home at Kerry Close Custom House, for many years. They had ten children, Dennis, Sid, Vera, Yvonne, Corrine, Janine, Lorna, Wayne, Kieran, and Harry. Their son Harry was a very close friend of mine. Being part of the 'Kerry Close' community was a great thing, it brought with it a sense of freedom and endless time, just nearby was another little peace of community heaven, Murray Square. All over Custom House there were little pockets of the same. In the summer we'd be hot and thirsty running around, but we never had an endless or regular amount of pocket money. More families were bigger then; mine included, and there wasn't always enough to go around, running into a sweetshop for refreshments didn't happen every day. When the heat got too much Esther would come to our rescue. She would make orange juice for us and put them all on a tray in plastic cups and we would rush to get them, like marathon runners at a water stop. 

Esther and her husband Sid, lived through a time when mixed couples were just not tolerated at all. You had to be made of very strong stuff to withstand harsh abuse both verbally and sometimes physically. Esther and Sid were among the early beacons of hope for other mixed couples. She was clearly placed on a pedestal by Sid, and he affectionately called her 'Duchess', she was everything to him. Custom House then, was not necessarily considered the most popular place to set up home for people of colour, although the neighbouring area Canning Town was growing into one of the largest black communities in London, with over 100 families living in the area; other places deemed as popular for the Caribbean community were; Forest Gate, Brixton, Notting Hill, Clapton, and Stoke-Newington. 

On Friday 11 September, Esther's funeral took place. As I approached the close I could see the horses and carriage outside Esther's family home. There were family members as well as some friends milling around the entire close. It felt like the whole close was one family at that moment. I paid my respects to some family members, then watched Esther leave home for the last time. I went on to the cemetery to wait for the cortege there. I was met at the cemetery with more family members. Even though I know the Graham family is very large; I was reminded of the scale when I saw them all together. After around fifteen minutes the cortege arrived and the first cars door opened. Esthers' son Harry came out of the car and straight into my arms to hug me and thank me for coming. Although he hasn't physically seen me for many years it still felt like before, when as kids we used to throw arms over each others shoulders so we could chat while walking along the road.                                                                       

Restrictions resulting from the recent pandemic meant that only a certain number of people were allowed in the chapel; but I think that would have been the case anyway since the family is very large. I stayed to see Esther being carried into the chapel to a fitting song, 'You're The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me', by Gladys Knight. Unfortunately I had to leave soon after they went in for the service, because I had to be at the second funeral of the day. It's the knowing that Esther is no longer here at all that feels strange. Like her dear husband Sid before her, there was a nice nostalgic feeling and security knowing that she was still here, now they are both gone that particular chapter in my life has in effect come to an end. God bless you Esther, and may you have eternal peace and light with your beloved Sid. 

Thank you for the orange juice and being part of the fabric, that is my life. 

I dedicate this blog To the wonderful Sidney Graham.

 

  

 

Farewell Ma Lynch, Its Been Good To Know You

©Priscilla Etienne Funeography®

On Wednesday 7th May, Sharon Lynch was laid to rest. Her daughter on the right would sometimes call her dad pa. A nice old and familiar term for a father. Sharon was definitely ma, a mother figure for so many.

I have known Sharon for a number of years, since the age of 13-14 years old. She watched us make some horrendous fashion mistakes, and our excitement about a night out when we were old enough to do it. If we asked her opinion about whether something looked good, or if it suited us, she would tell us straight that she didn’t like it and to try something else. Rather than force her opinion as to what the reasons were, she would just leave us with the time to re-think it.
I can honestly say, I never heard her raise her voice to her children,  {two girls and a boy} she just had a particular look on her face and would use fewer words, enough to let you know she’d be talking about it later.
She was never in a rush and we always felt relaxed around her. Sharon always had time to listen to all of us. We sometimes would eat in the pie mash shop that her sister Rita had,and as other customers started to come in she would move us to a corner so that we wasn't in the way, we'd only have to leave if it got too busy. It was one of the few places that we didn't get thrown out of.

The coronavirus prevented me from being at her funeral, or standing alongside so many who social distanced to bid her farewell on her final journey, as I have a high risk family member.

When I look back on my life I can remember a few parents like Sharon who were instrumental to my experiences and what I learned about family values and the importance of looking out for each other.
Rest in peace Sharon, it's been good to know you.

Victims Of Crime

                                                           

  ©Lady Priscilla Etienne
Kiyan Prince 18 May 2006

How many more untimely deaths can we take?


I need to point out that the term 'victims of crime' shelters beneath a very big umbrella. Primarily the victims family suffer, and then the perpetrator's family, friends, partners, husbands and wives. It causes a ripple affect for all extended family members on both sides. Most of the younger victims of crime we hear about are oftentimes in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or they were trying to smooth a group argument, protect someone else and were even in fear of their own life. The latter has at times resulted in the victims losing their life by their own instrument.

There are remarkable people who are working tirelessly to re-educate young people about the choices they make when it comes to human life. The simple action of thinking first, retreating instead of advancing, and the benefits of doing this are being discussed in many schools, colleges and youth clubs around the country. Where are these rich and valuable amounts of advice and guidance going?
Are they falling on deaf ears? Because there's still a lot of teenage genocide happening. We will end up with a pretty big generation gap.
      When the Grenfell fire happened, the community came together as one group, bravely and publicly displayed their anguish, and began their fight for justice for their friends and family. Their voices were heard because they all worked together to deliver the same opinions and beliefs. The people that lived at Grenfell all suffered the same needless tragedy, so they all have a common goal of a satisfactory and fair outcome for all involved.

In 2010 I had the honour of working with the parents of ten families who lost their children to gun and knife crime and gang violence.They kindly let me and my colleagues into their homes, places of work, and into their lives.  Seven out of the ten sets of parents we worked with started their own foundations in their taken children's' memories. I began to think then, as I do more so now {in the wake of Grenfell} that these foundations could have their voices heard much louder if they were joined together as one large foundation.
    The murder of Stephen Lawrence in 1993 was a shocking turning point. There were not so many murders like his happening then. The work Stephens mother began with building his foundation led to some great things and of course her tireless fight for justice for her son, led to her O.B.E. It was a hard fight for her but his was the first foundation so there was no competing with anyone else for recognition or publicity. A primary foundation like his would be a perfect platform for all the other parents to become part of. A large foundation for all the victims with an appropriate name. I really believe it's time.

I dedicate this blog to some young people who are greatly missed every day by family and friends.

Stephen Lawrence, Kiyan Prince, Sabina Rizvi, Charlotte Polius, Terry Booker, Tommy Harley, Robert Levy
Anton Hyman, Daniel Ross, Damilola Taylor, Ben Kinsella, Michael Simon Wright, Bobby Litambola, Adam Regis, Stephen Lewis,
Danny O'Shea.