This last two weeks has been truly thought provoking for me. Two families have been bereaved. One family has lost a much loved mum who has seen me grow up from a child. The other family has lost a very young child. I have visited both families and shared some memories with the family whose mum has died. But what of the memories for the family with the young child? Sadly there won't be very many because a very young child hasn't lived long enough to create and contribute to memories. And the parents, what category do they fall into? The children of the mother are now orphans, as am I. A husband or wife dying leaves a widow. I read a piece written by Carla F.C Holloway, Professor of English. Duke University Durham NC USA. (A Name For A Parent Whose Child Has Died, 2009) She found a Sanskrit (Indian) word, "vilomah" which means, "against a natural order". I find it perfect because we all feel that our children should not die before us. It's definitely a word I shall be using now. It's simple, short and gentle. I'd like to see it find it's way into the dictionary along with "Funeography".
The contrast in reactions to both deaths were complete opposite ends of the spectrum. The family of the child are pensive, still bemused and are doing the best they can to ensure that there's as much support for each other as possible and when the time comes that the funeral be best it can be.
The family of the mother have now laid her to rest with as much love surrounding the day as she could have hoped for, and everyone had a better understanding of how to grieve.
I dedicate this blog to someone who travelled so much in his lifetime and took his final journey too soon.
Billy Wise
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