Everybody Loves You When You're Six Feet In The Ground.

Some brilliant words by John Lennon, brilliant and true.

I recently took my son to see the 1968 olympics documentary 'Salute, The Movie'.  It chronicles what happened to the third Olympic athlete (Peter Norman) on the podium, after he became part of the famous black gloved salute by two American athletes (Tommy Smith and John Carlos). 

Peter Norman supported the civil rights movement but he did not take part in the salute. The salute had   a big impact on all three athletes. For Peter, being a white Australian with strong beliefs during a time when race relations in Australia were bad for black australians, would prove to be harmful for him personally and for his career.

Sadly, Peter Norman did not get to see the finished film as he died before it's release. When the film reached the part of Peters' funeral, my son commented on the amount of people paying their respects to him. Among the mourners were some of the olympic committee members and Australian sports people who helped to destroy Peters' brilliant career. My son was quick to ask; "Why didn't they show their appreciation for what Peter did for Australia when he was alive?

He was right, it's often after the person has died that they are honoured and respected for the person they were and what they achieved.

We don't have to wait until after to show how much we care about each other, or how much we admire a person and their beliefs. After all, we often have no problem expressing our disappointment on a regular basis. 

I dedicate this blog to a remarkable woman whom I often think about. she was awarded her Doctorate when she died. It was announced at her funeral some years ago. 

Doreen Parkinson.

Fame Without Flowers

I wanted to begin by briefly mentioning how saddened I was to hear of the untimely death of cricketer Tom Maynard, my sincere sympathies are with his family at this time.

It is always paramount to consider the feelings of every family when they are faced with a bereavement.

I understand this very well, particularly as I have experienced great loss within my own family and with many dear friends.

On Wednesday 20 June I travelled to Wembley Park station with the hope of taking Funeographs of some beautiful floral tributes for Tom. I'm not a reporter with the aim of putting a heart wrenching story out there in the form of a blog. Funeography is not carried out in the way paparazzi coverage is so often, with little thought for the families.

I took some images of the front of the train station but I chose not to add it to this blog.

I have a real love and passion for Funeography and really want it to be understood. Me and some of my like minded colleagues who also appreciate and understand the value of this kind really need the public, society to look at it. There is still much confusion and some fear around Funeography and so..... the time has come for me to expand even further on the Funeography archives and also to clarify the booking process, how we work etc. As from July 2012 Funeography will be on offer for half price for a period of 6 months... New Price £350.00 This will also mean that I will be using some of the carefully selected Funeographs for artistic, promotional purposes. 

Take advantage of this and give your family or friends the chance to have a precious memory and legacy for generations to come. Use your money with the choices that you really like rather than the ones you have to adhere to. It's your money, your loved ones, your choice. 

I dedicate this blog to Tom Maynard.

Crazy Coffins At The London Death Festival 2012

I recently attended the London Death Festival at the South Bank. I arrived to see the Crazy Coffins exhibition on a Wednesday. I was so looking forward to it as I've been an admirer of these coffins for a few years now. I always hope that Funeography will be commissioned to work on a funeral featuring them. I took my son with me and a friend, they both thoroughly enjoyed it. The variety of what you can have is astonishing. I didn't take my digital cameras. I used my I phone to take some pictures. My favourites were the guitar, the ballet shoes and the wine cork.
I was thinking about what words I'd have printed on the my headstone. "Here ferments the creator of Funeography, we think she liked her wine too much".

Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

I returned on the Saturday via invite from the owner of Crazy Coffins David Crampton. A champagne reception no less. It was a real pleasure to meet him and we had a chance to discuss what sort of coffin I would like. I told him that perhaps I should have a camera, shouldn't I?
But then I started to think of the point of crazy coffins. To personalise the experience and choose something that really reflects who you are, perhaps what people may associate with you the most.

Funeography is what I do, but not necessarily who I am. I suggested a long red fingernail, made of 100 percent biodegradable material of course, as my nails over many years have become a statement, perhaps a small representation of me. I'm very often complemented on my work which is a wonderful thing and then it's usually followed up with; "How do you work with those nails"?  David said they hadn't had a fingernail request as of yet.

Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

The team at Crazy Coffins are crafts people of extreme talent and vision and there is a market for their wonderful creations. I also know their coffins will appeal to our countries music stars, as well as stage and screen.

Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

I dedicate this blog to another talented and wonderful craftsmen who truly loved his craft. Bill Huckfield.

Memento Mori "Remember You Will Die"

Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

As the title says Remember You will die. An absolute certainty so why not have what you want, why not have Funeography?


Attitudes to death are changing, although change needs to come so much more and so much sooner in Britain. When funeral directors began to establish themselves in the 1800's they were responsible for putting fear into death. In time we have seen a private club emerge. That's exactly what it feels like, a private club. There's nothing wrong with providing the excellent service that so many funeral directors provide but why can't they do that and still move with the times and allow the public to have as much choice as possible. Even with a percentage incentive offered they still tend to dig their heels; stating that people don't really want change. I would go as far as to say that people don't and can't always have that expensive coffin or those two extra cars that's suggested but funeral directors tend to talk people round. In reality we all know our budgets, we also know the people we are burying. Yet we continue to allow funeral directors to make their suggestions and talk us out of things we really want and into things we don't need.

I can see the reason for this, the grieving process is really tough and we would just like to be left alone to come to terms with what has happened. It's still seems slightly frustrating to me that this pattern continues.
We all know that flowers are an important part of a funeral, and in our grief we manage to order flowers as one of the first things we do. I want the public to realise the value of Funeography. It is just as important as ordering flowers and thinking about food and drinks for people. I often say what is the point of the beautiful horses and the colourful coffins and the gospel choirs if there is no record of it. It is a lot of money to spend with no recorded memory. We are living in really difficult financial times and there are many deaths that we are not prepared for. The money we spend on funerals is substantial and the cost can be brought down if funeral directors were to give as many choices and information to the public as is possible. Without the general public there would be no funeral directors. They rely on our money to keep them wealthy, well fed and allow them to have three holidays a year.

This is the reason why we work independently from funeral directors. There are one or two who approach us and are happy to inform the public of us, but that is just not enough.
Grieving families are not property to be bought. They are families who are facing one of the most difficult events in their lives. They deserve to be given choices and information and it is unfair to keep useful and important information from them. This needs to stop. The bereavement industry is large and I know that if funeral directors are unwilling to open their minds and establishments they will lose. They need to wake up and accept that change has come and if they don't embrace it... They will be left behind.

Don't be afraid, take control of your loved ones send of. Hire us and and do something valuable and look into all of your choices. THINK OF US, SOON AFTER YOU THINK OF FLOWERS.

I dedicate this blog to a man who was absolutely fearless, right to the end.   Charlie Stone.

A Community In Mourning

                                                     Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

"There's a dark cloud hanging over Custom House and Canning town". These are the words of an old, dear friend of mine whose son was a best friend of the late Danny O'Shea. It's a good description as the whole community is feeling the loss of someone so young and clearly special to so many. I visited the family and was greeted with the warmest welcome. This sign on the front door is a beautiful notice to all. Once inside I drank coffee and listened to some funny stories about Danny as a child. I was also struck with the gentle nature of all inside the house. There was no bitterness, aggression or malice in any of the family members. The focus was clearly on the pure love they have for Danny and the many visitors bringing flowers and cards.
Growing up as a child here I was always aware the area had some bad press but for everyone living here, it didn't seem so bad to us. Everyone knew everyone else, people were popping in to have a cuppa with neighbours, and we were grateful we could ask each other for anything  that we might have run out of indoors. We're all aware times have changed, but when the community needs to pull together to support one another.. that's as easy as breathing in and out. Danny has always and will always belong to his family but something like this has prompted many to call him 'Our Danny'. He's very much still one of us even though we can't physically see him.

                                                     Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

Undoubtedly his family are suffering the biggest loss and his close friends are also struggling with his death. In the next coming weeks the members of the community who once lived here will return from all over the country to come and pay their respects and to remember a well loved person from a well loved family. These floral tributes outside his home continue to grow.

                                                    Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

                                                 Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

                                                Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

                                                 Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

May you rest in peace Danny, god bless you and your family.

I dedicate this blog to the late Danny O'Shea.   18. 06. 1993  -  02. 12. 2011





                                        

KIYAN PRINCE & THE KIYAN PRINCE FOUNDATION

 

Ken Kamara©

Today would have been the 21st birthday of an exceptional young man, Kiyan Prince. I had the pleasure of getting to know his dad Mark Prince in 2009. I was in my second year at university doing a photographic degree. We had to come up with a subject we felt very strongly about for our second year project. After some deliberation; me, Andre Laing, and Ken Kamara decided on working with the parents of the victims of gun and knife crime/youth violence.


We worked with 10 parents including Mark where we spoke to them about the circumstances surrounding their children's deaths. We filmed them talking about the circumstances and the affects it had on them. Andre Laing edited the film. We then took portraits of the parents, Ken Kamara photographed them. Finally the scenes where the incidences occurred were photographed by me. It was to be a project that further changed our lives, a project we called 'Them'.  All the parents were remarkable with regards to accepting the true hands of friendship we offered to them, they were not just here to help us achieve an important piece of work. It quickly became apparent that they were here to teach us about humility, dignity, grace, strength and patience.
Listening to their stories was difficult and brought many emotions to the surface for them and us. Many times we shed tears once they had left us, wondering and admiring how they manage to continue living their lives without their children. Some of them like Mark, went on to create their own foundations in the memory of their children's names. The Kiyan Prince Foundation does wonderful and important work reaching out to young people by giving them the opportunity to turn their lives away from crime and youth violence and to challenge their energies in positive ways by giving them the skills to regain their self worth giving them a sense of belonging and creating new opportunities for their future.

I would like to finish by saying to Mark Prince... You built and created a wonderful organisation through sheer courage, determination and tenacity. I know that Kiyan would be so proud of his parents and all that you both have achieved, primarily in the name of love.
On behalf of Priscilla Etienne, Andre Laing, and Ken Kamara thank you for the time you gave us and we will continue to support yours and all the other parents causes.

To make a donation and to see all the vital work the foundation continues to do go to;
www.kiyan.org

This blog is dedicated to Kiyan Prince.. 

DEATH ON A SPECTRUM

                                                   Priscilla Etienne Funeography©

This last two weeks has been truly thought provoking for me. Two families have been bereaved. One family has lost a much loved mum who has seen me grow up from a child. The other family has lost a very young child. I have visited both families and shared some memories with the family whose mum has died. But what of the memories for the family with the young child? Sadly there won't be very many because a very young child hasn't lived long enough to create and contribute to memories. And the parents, what category do they fall into? The children of the mother are now orphans, as am I. A husband or wife dying leaves a widow. I read a piece written by Carla F.C Holloway, Professor of English. Duke University Durham NC USA. (A Name For A Parent Whose Child Has Died, 2009)  She found a Sanskrit (Indian) word, "vilomah" which means, "against a natural order". I find it perfect because we all feel that our children should not die before us. It's definitely a word I shall be using now. It's simple, short and gentle. I'd like to see it find it's way into the dictionary along with "Funeography".

The contrast in reactions to both deaths were complete opposite ends of the spectrum. The family of the child are pensive, still bemused and are doing the best they can to ensure that there's as much support for each other as possible and when the time comes that the funeral be best it can be.
The family of the mother have now laid her to rest with as much love surrounding the day as she could have hoped for, and everyone had a better understanding of how to grieve.


I dedicate this blog to someone who travelled so much in his lifetime and took his final journey too soon.
Billy Wise